Introduction

 1. Memories

• My Story
• How I Learned About Healing

2. Surviving Losses, Reviving Dreams

• About Healing
• Symptoms of Grieving
• The Nonsense of "Stages of Grieving"
• Symptoms of Blocked Healing
• Anniversary Reactions
• Successful Grieving
• Beneficial Losses

 

• Special Treasures
• Loved Ones
• Dreams
• Faith
• Opportunities
• Objects
• Jobs or careers
• Trusted helpers
• Personal security
• Youth
• Roles
• Health
• Self-esteem
• Body parts
• Mental functions
• Money

 

3. Using Your Anger to Heal

• Katie's Story
• Katie's Crisis
• Katie's Anger
• Katie's Problem
• Fear of her Anger
• Punishing Herself
• Preventing Depression
• Living in the Past
• Use Your Reasoning Mind
• Management Tasks
• Respect Vengeance
• Lawsuits
• Recognize Your Anger
• Express Your Anger
• Harness Your Energy
• Don't Displace Your Anger
• Don't Try to Control Your Anger
• Control Your Actions
• Summary

4. How We Heal

• About the World-Image
• Bonding and the World-Image
• The World-Image After a Loss
• Phantom Limbs and the World-Image
• Other Phantom Treasures

5. Mastering Guilt

• Calvin's Story
• Absurd Death Wishes
• Self-Forgiveness
• Calvin's Dreams
• Survivor Guilt
• Master Your Guilt
• Accept Your Ambivalence
• Frank's Dream
• Frank's Ambivalence
• Death Wishes
• Three Levels of Conscience
• Guilt as a Conditioned Response
• Conditioned Guilt and Reasoned Guilt
• Guilt as Internalized Shame
• Antisocial Guilt
• Wendy's Story
• Beneficial Guilt
• Guilt as Superstition
• Think Realistically
• Identify Your Responsibility
• Monitor Your Beliefs
• Think Ethically
• Question Your Conscience
• Externalize "Them"
• Shame "Them"
• Test Your Conscience
• Laugh at Your Superstitions
• Join the Real World
• Forgive Yourself

6. Anticipating Losses

• Frank and Melody
• Opposite Goals
• Alienation and Conflict
• Exchanging Points of View
• Talking About Dying
• Planned Retreats
• Listening
• Sharing Their Lives Again
• Prepare for Expected Losses
• Mario's Story
• Obstacles to Anticipatory Grieving
• Time Limits
• Denial
• Ambivalence
• Anticipating Death Realistically
• Preparing for a Death

7. Reviving Lost Dreams

• Rachel's Story
• A Familiar Pattern
• The Cactus and the Mushroom
• Losing Her Dream
• Rachel's Fears
• Her Fear of Grieving
• Rachel's Blocked Grieving
• Grieving for her Dream
• Rachel's Anger
• Rachel's Homework
• Budgeting her Time
• Facing her Losses
• Rachel's Sadness
• Managing her Sadness
• What Rachel Learned
• Assess Your Dreams Realistically
• Emotions after Losing a Dream
• Sadness
• Grieving and Depression
• Fear
• Fear of Loneliness
• The Energy of Fear
• Joy

8. Delayed Healing

• Eben's Story
• Eben's Losses
• Eben's Grief Work
• Eben's Depression
• Eben's Motivation to Change
• Eben's Lessons
• Eben's Four Tasks
• Uncovering Blocked Grieving
• Deceptive Symptoms
• Times of Crisis
• Midlife Crises
• Listen to Others
• Anniversary Reactions
• Fear of Loss
• Reliving Past Losses
• Symbols for Remembering
• Memories and Imagination
• Understanding Blocked Grieving
• Changing Habits

9. The Skills of Healing

• Conscious and Unconscious Skills
• Using Reasoning in Healing
• Using Emotions in Healing
• Using Mental Habits in Healing
• Types of Coping Habits
• Infantile Habits
• Childlike Habits
• Adult Habits

10. If You Need More Help

• Kinds of Obstacles
• If You Need Medication
• If You Need Psychotherapy
• If You Need Social Support

If You Need to Find a Helper